


Hiccup's Problem

by gettingcolddragonfeet



Category: Brave (2012), Frozen (2013), How to Train Your Dragon (Movies), Rise of the Guardians (2012), Tangled (2010)
Genre: Crossover, Gen, M/M, also because of mentions of elsa's vagina, because let's be real girls talk about that shit casually all the time, i repeat: this is not jelsa, platonic jack/elsa bonding alert, rated teen to be safe because there's some minor necking, rotbtfd, this is not jelsa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-20
Updated: 2015-03-20
Packaged: 2018-03-18 17:26:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3577818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gettingcolddragonfeet/pseuds/gettingcolddragonfeet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack says that he and Elsa aren’t a thing, but Hiccup can’t help but feel that that’s not the case. (AKA: Hiccup is stubborn and paranoid, and there’s something that everyone else knows that he’s not getting.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hiccup's Problem

Burgess was a nice little town. It was quiet, never got to the point where your piss froze as soon as it came out like it did in Berk, and the residents weren’t liable to smack Hiccup into a wall on accident.

Yes, Hiccup decided as he watched Jack cartwheel straight into a tree, he really did prefer it here in Burgess.

"Please tell me you got that on camera." Hiccup turned to Merida, who was smirking as she reviewed what she had caught on her phone screen. Flynn started howling with laughter and wouldn’t stop even after Rapunzel nudged him, though that may have been because she was trying to suppress giggles of her own.

"And just who do you take me for?" Merida leaned over to show Hiccup the perfectly captured video of Jack running around the grassy field like the excitable dork that he was, launching into an admittedly impressive series of handsprings that somehow veered off-course. The teen’s back smacked into the tree in his path and bounced off of it with cringe-worthy force, leaving him in his current position, face in the grass, limbs spread eagle as he groaned. What an idiot.

"Vine?" Hiccup grinned.

"Vine." Merida agreed, saving the video to her phone.

"Your heartfelt concern is very much appreciated!" Jack yelled back towards the group, no doubt hearing Flynn’s laughter, which just turned more hysterical.

"Are you okay, Jack?!" Rapunzel yelled back.

"I’ll probably have a very interesting bruise tomorrow, but yeah! I’m just peachy!" Was his response. A few seconds later He had leapt to his feet and was jogging back towards the group and their spot under the big oak tree. "Please tell me you got that on video." Jack plopped down next to Hiccup as he eyed Merida’s phone.

"You know it, Frosty." She smirked. Flynn just continued laughing, evidently still incapable of words.

"Oh, can it, Rider." Jack grabbed a grape from Hiccup’s lunch and flicked it at the recovering teen. Hiccup gave him a half-hearted glare, but Jack just patted with head without turning away from Flynn. "I’d like to see you do five consecutive handsprings without getting disoriented."

"That was very cool, Jack." And somehow Rapunzel managed to sound sincere about it, bless her sweet heart.

"Thank you, Punzie." Jack said graciously.

"You know, before you made an ass out of yourself." Hiccup supplied and Jack glared balefully at him.

"I should have known that you’d pick on me too." Jack sniffed, scooting over to Rapunzel to give her a one-armed hug. "Puns is the only one who supports me."

"Punzie is just too nice to tell you the truth." Flynn threw his arm around her as well.

"Don’t touch her, you’ll corrupt her kind soul!" Jack made a face, linking both arms through Rapunzel’s like a child and glaring at Flynn.

"Sorry to break it to you Frost, but if you’re so adverse to me touching her then you’re already too la-"

"Flynn!" Rapunzel scolded, flushing as she scowled at the brunet.

"Oh baby don’t be that way!" He wailed, wrapping his arms around her free arm. "Please, I’m sorry! Just don’t leave me for that!” He jerked his head towards Jack, who was making and obnoxious pig face at him, crossing his eyes and using his thumb to scrunch up his nose. Dork.

"Boys, boys, you’re both pretty," Merida started, "but in case you haven’t noticed, we’re in polite company right now, so I’d suggest you both shut yer gobs." And indeed, when Hiccup looked up, he saw that Elsa Arendell was standing over them.

"Am I interrupting something?" Her red lips quirked up just the slightest bit. Hiccup felt his heart sink.

"Oh, hey Elsa!" Jack smiled, untangling his arms from Rapunzel.

"Later today, right?" She asked. "You didn’t answer my text."

"Yeah, my phone’s been weird lately." Jack shrugged. "And yes, we’re still good to go."

"Alright then." Elsa nodded. "See you later, Jack. Hiccup, Merida, cousin." She paused at Flynn. "Ruffian." She turned with a graceful sweep of her skirts in the direction of the school.

"Yep, still doesn’t like me." Flynn sighed as Rapunzel patted his hand soothingly.

"She’ll come around." She reasoned. "Elsa’s just kind of…protective."

"Mind sharing what that was all about, Frost?" Merida waggled her eyebrows and Hiccup felt a little sick.

"Oh yeah, Elsa’s tutoring me in AP Euro." He shrugged. "She’s, like, the only one who’s passing that class."

 _I could pass it, if I was taking it_. Hiccup had to viciously suppress the sudden wave of negativity that had suddenly came over him. Stop it, Hiccup. Just stop. Luckily, the bell rang before he could be left to his thoughts for too long.

 

 

Hiccup moved to Burgess in his sophomore year with his father and cat, Toothless. He was awkward and gangly and uncomfortable in his skin. Hiccup was small, back then (well, he was still pretty small now, but he was still praying for that late growth spurt), and had a tendency to hunch to make himself seem even smaller. To compensate, he had a tongue as sharp as a dagger and a sense of sarcasm to match. He didn’t expect to make friends.

As fate would have it, Jack barreled into him on his first day at Burgess High.

"Holy shit - I am so sorry!" Jack’s eyes were wide with concern as he pulled Hiccup to his feet, the other teen still in a bit of a daze. Hiccup blinked and took in the pale skin and white hair, but before he would answer, he heard a bellow coming from the hall around the corner.

"FROOOOOOOOST!!!"

"Oh my FUCK!" Jack took off, still holding Hiccup’s hand, and before Hiccup could process what was happening he had been dragged into a closet.

The two boys stood in silence for a few minutes. They both heard the sound of footsteps coming down the hall and Jack’s breath hitched. The footsteps continued down and they both released the breaths they’d been holding. Wait. Why was Hiccup so nervous in the first place?

"Would you care to explain what just happened?" Hiccup’s voice was surprisingly deadpan, mostly because he was trying to disguise how confused he was. Jack snapped out of his trance and seemed to realize that, yes, he had just dragged a complete stranger into a closet with him.

"Oh. Um." He flushed, giving an innocent grin, but Hiccup just narrowed his eyes. "Weeeeell…" And then he launched into his story. "So, I have this friend named Rapunzel, and she is the sweetest thing on God’s green earth I swear - I mean, she baked me cupcakes when I asked her to! CUPCAKES! And, well, I found out about a week ago that she was dating Flynn Rider and holy fuck that guy just does not deserve her, but whatever you know? I mean he makes her happy and he’s good to her so that’s all well and good and I trust Punzie anyway. Thing is that I have a reputation to uphold, so I can’t let Flynn off the hook just because, everyones expecting me to play a prank on him, so I waited a while until they thought that I wouldn’t, then I defied expectations today when I covered the door to our homeroom in clear tape and he walked into it. And I’ve been running ever since." Hiccup stared.

"I’m leaving."

"Wait, wait, wait, no!" Jack laughed, tugging Hiccup back from the door. Luckily, the closet was actually rather spacious, large enough to fit the two teens comfortably. "I haven’t seen you around before! Are you new? What’s your name? Sorry that I ran into you." The sincerity in his blue eyes made Hiccup pause.

"Yeah, I’m new. My name’s-" he mentally braced himself "-Hiccup." Jack stared. He opened his mouth, then closed it. His lips pursed, but Hiccup could see the barely contained amusement in his expressive eyes. Jack finally coughed and brought one hand up to cover his mouth, reaching out with the other.

"Nice to meet you, Hiccup." He managed to strangle out. "I’m Jack."

And the rest is history.

Jack introduced him to Merida and Rapunzel after that, and having establishing an actual friend group, Hiccup had just latched on. Not that that was hard to do when Jack seemed to have made it his primary mission to keep Hiccup around. Now, they were all juniors, and Hiccup had a serious, serious problem.

He’s had suspicions about his feelings towards Jack for a little under a year now, starting around the time winter break came around in sophomore year. He and his father spent it at Berk, and he couldn’t get thoughts of returning to the other teen out of his mind. Looking back on it, Jack was the first thing that made Hiccup like Burgess. He didn’t feel particularly strongly before that - he was just ambivalent. He wasn’t really torn up about leaving Berk, what with the whole inadequate Viking descendent thing looming over his head (courtesy of his own cousin verbally bullying him and a long-resolved source of tension between Hiccup and his father), but he wasn’t necessarily happy to be torn apart from the familiarity of the island and his few friends. But somehow, Jack had made living in Burgess almost immediately enjoyable.

Hiccup had decided to deal with his feelings later. He didn’t fancy having to sort out what it was he felt towards Jack right at the heels of coming to terms with his bisexuality and moving thousands of miles away from the only home he had ever known.

He became certain when Jack introduced him to Elsa.

And the thing was, Jack had always indicated that he and Elsa were just friends, but for some reason Hiccup’s mood always soured a little when he saw those two together. After all, attractive people had a tendency to date other attractive people, and Jack and Elsa just looked right standing next to each other.

Hiccup didn’t like it. And he really, really didn’t like the fact that he didn’t like it, because Elsa may not have been a ray of sunshine, but she was never unkind to anyone. He even felt a little bit of kinship to her, in a ‘hey, I’m an introvert, you’re an introvert, I understand your desire to not socialize,’ sort of way. Only difference was that despite being the most introverted introvert Hiccup had ever met, Elsa still managed to make herself look confident. Hiccup couldn’t fake that sort of bravado and make it look convincing. (Though that may have had something to do with her flawless makeup and heels - heels made women feel powerful, right? Maybe he should take a page out of their book. Then again, just thinking about that idea made his fake leg squeak in protest.) So yeah, he actually had a healthy dose of respect for Elsa.

Which was why he didn’t like suddenly getting quiet and moody whenever she appeared - it was rude and immature, and he should have really been able to keep his emotions in check better.

Still, the fact remained that Jack had told him before that there was nothing going on between him and Elsa, but he still couldn’t shake these feelings of envy and inadequacy and he just wanted them to stop.

"Hiccup? Earth to Hiccup?" Merida snapped her fingers in front of Hiccup’s face and he was startled out of his trance.

"What? What is it?" He looked around, dazed.

"I asked you, what’s the integral of the arc secant again?"

"Natural log of secant x plus tangent x. Don’t forget C." Hiccup answered as though on autopilot. Merida hummed as her pencil scratched on her notebook paper. As much as they endlessly complained about Calculus, they did like the teacher. After all, Mr. Pitchiner allowed them to take thirty minutes of class this period to work on their homework. They continued to work in silence for a minute before Hiccup brought up what had been lingering in his mind since lunch.

"So, do you really think that Jack and Elsa are…?" Merida’s head snapped up and she looked at Hiccup incredulously.

"What? Are you mad?! I was just teasing him." She rolled her eyes, looking back to her book.

"Well, yeah, I know that they’re not dating, but they seem to have gotten closer all of a sudden, and this one time I asked about what she and Jack talked about when he was over at her house and he got all red-"

"Fishbone, it’s all in your head." Merida said firmly. "Now, about number 35…"

 

 

"How do you think Jack’s going to top his birthday this year?"

Hiccup snapped out of his daze and looked at Rapunzel, who was painting a scene of a starry night sky filled with lanterns. Hiccup's last class of the day was art, which was nice because it gave him some time to unwind and relax, but also gave his mind more time to wander. 

"I seem to recall him talking about a birthday cake the size of a mountain? And dancing badger moles?" Hiccup grinned, absently spreading some charcoal with his fingers.

"Of course." Rapunzel nodded sagely. "I swear, North spoils him and Emma completely rotten, though now that I think about it, Jack’s just probably really good at getting what he wants. Did you know that he actually managed to get Elsa to come this year?" And Hiccup’s mood suddenly dropped again.

"Yeah." Hiccup sighed. "I kind of figured." Rapunzel stopped at his tone, looking over at him and frowning.

"What’s up?"

"Nothing, really. Just, you don’t think that there’s something going on with-?"

"Hiccup, there’s no way that Jack and Elsa are dating." Rapunzel deadpanned.

"Well I know, that’s what Jack and Merida said! But-"

"No, I’m sure that there’s nothing going on between them. I mean, I could be wrong about Elsa, but…" She trailed off, looking contemplative for a moment. "Anyway, there’s no way those two have feelings for each other." Hiccup quirked an eyebrow.

"Wait, what could you wrong about?" The blonde just returned to her painting.

"Let’s just say for now that if I am wrong then I’m going to have regretted saying anything, so I’m not saying anything.” She sing-songed. Hiccup turned back to his dragon sketch, shrugging, still unable to shake off his paranoia.

The two continued to create in silence.

 

 

Jack’s birthday was held at his home, which was not only massive in itself, but also had a ridiculous amount of perfectly landscaped land just begging to be decorated for entertaining. (North would never had let Jack have a party in the house anyway - there were too many delicates in there, and it was nicer not finding someone’s underwear behind a dresser a few weeks after.) Blue fairy lights had been strung out from the house to the trees in their backyard woods, and large tables of food occupied one side of the years while another had a stage and a DJ. Apparently North had even gotten local dance troops to perform.

At this point in the night, Jack was making an absolute goof of himself (not unusual). He ran around spraying guests with silly string, laughing as some gave chase. Hiccup found himself hanging around the patio, just watching as Jack’s shenanigans got progressively more outrageous. He shook his head.

"What an idiot."

Hiccup jumped when Elsa suddenly materialized at his side. Apparently, she had mastered the art of walking on heels silently.

"Can’t argue that point." Hiccup smiled, and was surprised to find that it wasn’t that forced. "As far as I know, he’s always been a nerd lord."

"Well, at least he’s our nerd lord." Elsa smiled ruefully and Hiccup found himself tensing. Not yours. Not in that way.

"I guess." His tone came out sounding more curt than he had wanted.

Elsa blinked, recoiling a bit. “Listen, Hiccup,” she started carefully, “have I done anything to upset you? It seems like you don’t particularly like me.”

Hiccup sighed, ashamed with himself all over again. So Elsa had noticed his sudden change in behavior whenever she was around. “No, no I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude. I’ve just been having a bad day.” Sorry excuse. The next words were bitter in his mouth. “Anyway, you should probably be with Jack. Making sure he doesn’t get into any more trouble.”

"Why would I do that?" Elsa frowned. "I’m not his keeper, am I?"

"Yeah but - I mean-" Hiccup sighed. "-aren’t you two kind of a thing? I- I know that you two aren’t dating, but I just-" Hiccup flushed when he realized how stupid he sounded; talking to Elsa face-to-face and taking in her incredulous expression just evaporated his train of thought. He decided that he had made enough of an ass out of himself for the night and stopped. "Nevermind." Elsa began staring. Hiccup started fidgeting. "What?"

"You think that Jack - him and me?" She cast a glance towards Jack, who was dancing on a table, and looked back to Hiccup. "Just. Really?" Hiccup was a bit thrown off. That was the most inarticulate thing that he had ever heard Elsa say. He nodded.

Elsa stared for a few more moments before she hung her head and hid her face in her hands, shoulders shaking gently.

"Whoa, whoa whoa!" Hiccup panicked. "What, I’m sorry I didn’t mean - are you okay?" But Elsa’s shoulders just shook more violently. Hiccup didn’t realize that she was laughing until a high-pitched squeal erupted from her. Soon she was hunched over, clutching her stomach, absolutely howling with laughter.

 _That’s it_. Hiccup thought in a panicked daze. _I’ve broken Elsa._

The blonde continued to convulse with laughter for a good few moments before she finally recovered, breathing deeply as she sighed, carefully wiping a stray tear from her eye.

"Oh…you two are both idiots."

"Excuse me?!" Hiccup was absolutely baffled.

"Hiccup, there is nothing, nor will there ever be anything between Jack and I." She said with a small smile. "Trust me. I’m as asexual as a rock." Hiccup blinked.

"Oh. Oh.” More blinks. “But…can’t asexual people-“

"Also aromantic." Elsa patted Hiccup on the shoulder. "Really. You two are absolutely perfect for each other." Hiccup flushed.

"I never said anything about-"

"Oh look, there’s Anna. I’d better make sure she isn’t getting herself into trouble." Elsa looked over at a point beyond Hiccup’s shoulder and he twisted to look, but she turned him back with a firm grip on his shoulder and made eye contact with him. "Now, I think that you’d better go to the birthday boy and end this sorry song and dance, yes?" And she left with a swirl of her skirts. How does she manage to make that look so good?

Hiccup’s first destination was the table that Jack had been dancing on, but he quickly realized that he wasn’t there. His next destination was the food, but there was no sign of the other boy there either. At some point he saw Flynn streaking across the lawn in his boxers and with a tie wrapped around his head and decided that it was that part of the night, so he retreated into the house and went up into Jack’s room. He knocked and didn’t get a reply.

"It’s Hiccup." There was a pause before he heard a muffled ‘come in.’ Hiccup cautiously opened the door, not sure what to expect, but Jack was just hiding behind his bed, peeking out over the mattress to watch Hiccup come in.

"I threw my cake at Merida and now I’m hiding." He craned his head to look over Hiccup’s shoulder. "She’d better not be with you."

"No, I’m alone." Hiccup closed the door behind him as Jack hopped onto his bed, sitting cross-legged on the sheets.

"Hiding out at my own party." Jack sighed. "What’s up? Did you just miss my face?" Jack waggled his eyebrows.

"Yes." Hiccup responded before he could think about it. Jack blinked, thrown off for once, but his answering grin was brilliant.

"I missed your face too, Hic." He hummed, patting the spot next to him. "So, we’ve got a good twenty minutes before Merida cools off. Whatcha wanna do?"

"Oh I don’t know, how about we try patty cake?" Hiccup drawled as he seated himself across from Jack. "I talked to Elsa just now."

"Oh, you did?" Jack pursed his lips. "What did she say?"

"Nothing too important. Just that there’s no way in Hel that you two are a thing." Hiccup shrugged.

"Hiccup are you still on about that?" Jack sighed. "I told you-"

"Yeah, yeah I get it now." Hiccup mumbled, still a little embarrassed that he had pegged their relationship so wrong. "No need to drive your point in further."

"Besides, I like someone else." What?! Hiccup snapped his attention back to Jack, who was red in the face. He looked down at his comforter and began fiddling with it.

"I mean, I’ve just been talking to Elsa and asking for advice, because, you know, she seems pretty smart about that sort of thing, right? Well, turns out she’s really not, but that’s not the point. Point is that pretty much everyone besides you knows that - that I’ve had a thing for you since sophomore year.” Jack was still looking down, but Hiccup could tell by the furrow in his brow that he was bracing himself for his reaction.

"Elsa was right. We’re both idiots." Jack temporarily snapped out of his bubble and looked up just as Hiccup planted a clumsy kiss on his mouth. And it was perfect, because Jack kissed back.


	2. Jack's Solution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack tells Hiccup that he and Elsa aren’t a thing, and really, he’s telling the truth. Elsa couldn’t care less about romance. And Jack’s been pining over someone else for a year. (AKA: Jack is extremely obvious, and this was what Hiccup wasn’t getting)

When Jack accepted Flynn’s challenge (the other teen hadn’t thought that he could do five consecutive handsprings - shows what he knew), he really didn’t intend to smack straight into a tree. But it did make for a funny Vine.

Jack watched the video loop over and over, finding it strangely hypnotic to see himself just flop towards the ground after the impact. The pattern started taking on a strange rhythm. Soon, he found himself bobbing his head to an imaginary beat - run, jump, flip-flip-flip-SMACK.

"Are you still watching that?" Hiccup sighed, plucking Jack’s phone out of his hand. The prankster whined in protest, reaching over the sofa to try and make a grab at his phone, but Hiccup was already in the kitchen. "Come on and help us make these cookies! They’re for your party.”

"Hiiiic, whenever I help the kitchen always looks like the oven vomited all over it." Jack pouted. "North’s not gonna like it."

"That’s why you’re also going to clean it up." Emma called from behind the island, unimpressed with her brother’s whining. "You’re gonna pull your own weight, or no gingerbread for you this year." Jack sighed. North’s gingerbread recipe was too legendary to pass up for his party, and now was the only time that Emma and Jack had to spare to make it.

"Fine." He said with an exaggerated huff, dragging himself off the couch and into the kitchen. Emma threw an apron at his head, which he caught in his hand. "Having the birthday boy prepare his own treats, I swear you two are evil."

"It’s not your birthday until twelve am, and you know we need your help for this." Hiccup quipped. Jack watched Hiccup shuffle around, pulling out ingredients from the cupboards like he owned the place, looking positively delicious in his own apron. He chewed on his lip. Emma gave him a knowing look, eyes flitting from him to Hiccup meaningfully as she waggled her eyebrows. She clearly got it from him. He just scowled and stuck out his tongue at her, like the five-year-old he was.

 

 

It started as early as sophomore year, when Jack barreled right into a scrawny boy in the hallway. Jack recovered quickly - he was used to colliding with things when he started running - but this kid had clearly been caught off guard.

"Holy shit - I am so sorry!" Jack winced, grabbing the kid’s hand to pull him up. Unfortunately, Flynn chose that moment to make his presence known, and Jack just took off in a panic. As soon as he was safely out of the way he sighed in relief, and only then did he notice, hey, he had never actually let go of the boy’s hand.

"Would you care to explain what’s going on here?" He deadpanned, looking unamused.

"Oh. Um." Jack flushed. This kid was cute. He couldn’t really take it in during his blind panic, but now that the immediate threat was gone, he allowed himself a millisecond to ogle the brunet’s frame before he snapped his eyes back to his face. Which wasn’t much of a loss, considering it was a very cute face. A very, very cute face. With cute little freckles and a cute button nose, and cute, kissable lips.

Okay, Jack. Slow down. Focus. Those pretty green eyes had narrowed, and Jack snapped out of his trance. Of course, like an idiot, he started babbling.

"Weeeeell…" He paused as he thought of where to start. "So, I have this friend named Rapunzel, and she is the sweetest thing on God’s green earth I swear - I mean, she baked me cupcakes when I asked her to! CUPCAKES! And, well, I found out about a week ago that she was dating Flynn Rider and holy fuck that guy just does not deserve her, but whatever you know? I mean he makes her happy and he’s good to her so that’s all well and good and I trust Punzie anyway. Thing is that I have a reputation to uphold, so I can’t let Flynn off the hook just because, everyones expecting me to play a prank on him, so I waited a while until they thought that I wouldn’t, then I defied expectations today when I covered the door to our homeroom in clear tape and he walked into it. And I’ve been running ever since." Cute boy stared, and Jack suppressed the urge to fidget. Don’t look at me with those huge, green eyes like that.

"I’m leaving." Cute boy said flatly and Jack inwardly panicked. Crap, he had made a horrible first impression. Way to go, Frost. First he ran into the kid, then he dragged him into a closet, and now he had just made even more of an ass out of himself.

"Wait, wait, wait, no!" He grabbed his arm - oh my God, he’s so thin - “I haven’t seen you around before! Are you new? What’s your name? I’m sorry that I ran into you.” He gave him his best puppy eyes that he could, and was delighted when Cute boy responded, except -

"My name is Hiccup."

Jack gaped for a second. Well. That’s just unfortunate.

But he had already made an ass of himself, he didn’t need to be rude on top of it. So with tremendous effort, he reigned in his mirth. He thought that he succeeded.

"It’s nice to meet you, Hiccup. I’m Jack."

From then on, making sure that he spent as much time as possible with Hiccup was his primary objective. Because not only was the boy extremely nice to look at, he was witty and sarcastic, and Jack practically lived for banter. He was also smart and funny in an intelligent way, plus he was just sassy as fuck and that was both precious and strangely attractive, and he had these adorable buck teeth that showed when he smiled, and the prettiest deep green eyes that Jack though were even prettier than Rapunzel’s -

Yeah. Jack had to keep Hiccup around.

Eventually, after nervously warning him about how Merida and Rapunzel could be a little - well, a bit too much sometimes, Jack introduced Hiccup to his two friends.

"Merida, Rapunzel, this is Hiccup." Jack grinned, one arm wrapped protectively around the shorter boy in a clear gesture of protectiveness. "He’s from Berk." He pointed to Merida. "You, be nice." He looked at Rapunzel. "You, you’re ok. Please never change."

"Oh aye, I’ll be good." Merida rolled her eyes, reaching a hand out towards Hiccup and giving him a firm handshake. "S’alright, Hiccup, don’t look so tense. We don’t bite." Hiccup gave a tentative smile and he wormed his way out of Jack’s hold to sit down on the grass. A scowl flashed on the other boy’s face, but it was gone an instant later. Jesus, calm down Jack. He mentally scolded himself as he sat next to Hiccup.

"It’s nice to meet you Hiccup!" Rapunzel beamed, and Jack pinpointed the exact moment that Hiccup realized that looking directly at such a bright visage was a bad idea. "How do you like it here in Burgess so far?"

"It’s alright." He started slowly, blinking away spots. "The people seem friendly. The Wifi is nice."

"There’s no Wifi on Berk?" Only Rapunzel could ask that question and not sound completely horrified.

"Well in some places there is-"

And it turns out that Jack needn’t have been worried, because Hiccup fit in just fine with their little circle of misfits. Opening up about Berk was a good thing - Hiccup could ramble endlessly about that place. Despite claiming that he liked it better in Burgess so far, Berk clearly had a special, sentimental place in his heart. Plus the island was just interesting enough to keep both Merida and Rapunzel listening with rapt attention.

"What did you do for fun?" Rapunzel asked, bubbling with barely-restrained enthusiasm.

"Well, it gets cold enough for Hel to freeze over at Berk, plus winter lasts more than half the year, so we did a lot of winter sports." Hiccup smiled.

"Tell them about how you’re, like, the best snowboarder on the island." Jack tucked Hiccup under his arm, a gesture that the other had seemed to have gotten used to.

"Well, I’m not exactly on the island anymore.” Hiccup corrected. Jack rolled his eyes.

"Technicalities."

"But yeah, I guess I was pretty good at it." Hiccup ducked his head, and Jack caught the ‘was,’ inwardly wincing. Hiccup had told him about his fake leg after Jack asked why he was limping a few days ago. Turns out that it acted up on muggy days. While Hiccup wasn’t necessarily insecure about his fake foot (anymore), residents in Burgess just weren’t used to seeing amputees like the hardy people on Berk, so Hiccup preferred not to advertise it. When it came to snowboarding, months of physical therapy and self-training had brought Hiccup back up to snuff, but he couldn’t board nearly as frequently as he used to, otherwise he would be in pain.

But Hiccup didn’t seem particularly bothered by the thought, because he continued just as enthusiastically on with the conversation without so much as a stumble. At least he seemed to be opening up to their little group more - Jack counted this mission as a success.

Hiccup looked at his watch. “I have to get to my next class early. “We’re going a lab in Chem and we need to set it up beforehand.” Hiccup stood up, and Jack reluctantly slid his arm off of his thin shoulder. “So, uh, see you later, guys.” He said shyly as he grabbed his backpack. The group said their goodbyes as Hiccup disappeared into the school building. Jack stared after him. When he jerked back into reality, Merida was smirking at him and Rapunzel was hiding a smile behind her hand.

"What?" He said a tad defensively.

"He’s kind of cute." Rapunzel began. Jack opened and closed this mouth, gaping like a fish.

"Now I understand why you were so keen on him making nice with us." Merida smirked.

"I have no idea what you’re talking about." Jack said primly.

Perhaps he was a bit too successful.

 

 

It was two weeks into junior year that Jack introduced Hiccup to Elsa. The two pale-haired teens were in the library, working on a project Or, well, Elsa was working. Jack was texting Hiccup, asking him to drop his notebook off since he left it at his last class.

"Here you go, your highness." Hiccup drawled as he tossed the notebook at Jack, who caught it expertly. "I swear I don’t why I-" Hiccup trailed off as he caught sight of Elsa, who had been partially hidden from view sitting next to Jack. "Oh. Hi."

"Hiccup, this is Elsa." Jack grinned. "We bonded in AP US History last year because of pain, and now we’re in AP Euro together."

"It’s a pleasure to meet you." Elsa gave a small, friendly smile, and Hiccup snapped out of his trance.

"Um, yeah, you too." Hiccup said absently, taking her hand in a loose handshake. "So what are you two…?"

"Mr. Alvin gave us a project." Jack grimaced. "Elsa’s my partner. Seriously though, who gives an essay right at the beginning of the year?"

"A prick." Hiccup said flatly. He looked from Elsa to Jack, pursing his lips.

"Also, I can’t make it to movie night." Jack winced. "I have to work on this thing with Elsa. Because apparently, she doesn’t think that three weeks is more than enough time.”

"If we get it done quickly, we won’t have to worry about it later." Elsa rolled her eyes.

"Well, at least you’re keeping him on a tight lease." Hiccup said stiffly. Jack blinked. Hiccup looked distinctly tense, and his green eyes didn’t have the same spark of warmth that he loved.

"Hey, Hic, are you okay?" He said more quietly. Hiccup blinked and seemed to shake himself out of his mood, giving a smile that didn’t convince Jack for a second.

"I’m fine." He said lamely, looking away. "Just…my leg’s been acting up a little bit. I’m kinda moody. Sorry about that." He ducked his head.

"Oh." Jack frowned. "You gonna be able to make it home okay?"

"Yeah, I’ll be fine." Hiccup shrugged. "So, uh, I’ll just leave you two to your essay then." He gave another unconvincing smile. "I’ll see you later then, Jack. Elsa."

Jack frowned as he watched Hiccup walk away. He had a feeling that there was some sort of miscommunication here, but he was quickly diverted by Elsa lightly smacking his head with his notebook and shoving a pen into his hand.

 

 

"Hiccup was angry." Jack pouted, curled up on Elsa’s massive bed while she sat at her desk, taking notes out of her AP Euro book. Jack had his laptop on the bed with him, but he had already gathered a good list of credible secondary sources, so now he was just whining. "Why was Hiccup angry?"

"I’m sure I don’t know, Jack." Elsa drawled, not looking up from her notes. Jack groaned.

"How can I expect to date Hiccup if I can’t figure out why he’s angry? I’m a terrible potential mate." Jack sniffed. "Elsa, am I a bad potential mate?"

"I don’t know, Jack, why don’t you just ask Hiccup and find out?" Elsa’s tone was exasperated.

"I can’t just ask him! Hiccup is one of my best friends, what if-"

"-He doesn’t feel the same way and you irreversibly alter your relationship and slash or lose one of your best friends." Elsa finished. "I’ve heard this excuse before. If you want Hiccup, you’re going to have to take a gamble. That’s all there is to it." Despite having been friends for a while, Jack had only started complaining to Elsa about his pining for Hiccup a few days ago. This ‘losing my best friend’ thing seemed to be a really frequently reoccurring concern of his, considering the sheer amount of times he had brought it up.

"I don’t know." Jack chewed his lip. Just the thought of losing Hiccup - or worse, losing their closeness while Hiccup stayed friends with him out of obligation - made his stomach churn.

"Well, what do you want me to tell you, then? Ignore your feelings? Just stop liking Hiccup? I’m sure that would make your situation simpler." Elsa deadpanned, sounding thoroughly done with Jack’s antics. Did Emma have to put up with this on a daily basis? He was even worse than Anna.

Jack twisted around so that he could stare at the back of Elsa’s head blankly. He blinked slowly.

"That is one of the most unhelpful things that anyone has ever said to me." His tone was almost awed. Elsa shrugged, looking completely unconcerned. "I thought that you were good with this sort of stuff!"

"And what gave you that idea?" Elsa quirked a perfectly plucked eyebrow, looking over her shoulder at Jack.

"Well I don’t know, you’re always so put together and you walk like could murder a man twenty different ways with your bare hands and - and - you have this - I don’t know -" Jack snapped his jaw shut, suddenly extremely embarrassed because, yeah, assumptions really did make an ass out of him. He really should have known better, considering he actually knew Elsa well enough now to understand that associating with people in general just wasn’t a thing she did. Elsa seemed to notice the exact moment that Jack realized he was being an idiot and rolled her eyes, turning back to her notes.

"Men and women are too afraid to approach me, anyway." She said primly. "They don’t seek me out, and I don’t seek them out, which is perfectly fine by me. In fact, I rather like it that way."

"Wow, cold." Jack scrunched up his face, covering his chest with a hand. "So you’d rather be single indefinitely?" The question would have sounded a tad offensive coming from anyone else, but there was only genuine curiosity in Jack’s voice.

"It’s suited me just fine so far." Elsa shrugged and didn’t look up from her history book. "I’ve never wanted a romantic relationship before."

"Wait, really?" Jack paused. "So, you’ve never had a crush on anyone or something?"

"When I was eight I said I wanted to marry Audrey Hepburn," Elsa admitted, "but that’s it."

"Well, everyone wants to marry Audrey Hepburn." Jack stared at her for a second. "So you really just don’t give a fuck about that sort of thing, do you?"

"Eloquent as ever, Jack. But yes, I give no fucks." Elsa smirked, still taking notes. "I’ve begun to think that I’m asexual. Or aromatic. Or both. Not quite sure."

"Whoa, really?" Jack sat up to look at her. "….So, do you-" Jack winced "-wait, never mind, TMI, I’m not sure I’m good enough friends with you yet to start asking about what you do with your vagina." Elsa gave a genuine, startled laugh at that, slapping her palm over her mouth to suppress her giggles.

"As far as I know, libido isn’t linked with sexual orientation." She shrugged. "And as good a friend you are, I’m going to have to agree with you, so I won’t answer."

"I regret bringing up this topic." Jack flopped back down on the bed. "So, does sex disgust you?"

"I thought you didn’t want to talk about my vagina?" Elsa flipped a page in her book and paused in her writing briefly before continuing. "And yes, the thought of being sexually intimate with someone else is pretty repulsive."

"I don’t see where the ‘not quite sure’ part comes into play here, that sounds pretty asexual to me." Jack scrunched up his nose, staring at the ceiling. Being a hormonal teenage boy, the concept of being disgusted by sex with a partner (in his case, he had a very specific partner in mind) was a bit foreign, but to each their own.

"I suppose you’re right. But I only became aware that asexuality existed very recently, so you’ll forgive me for not…leaping into this headfirst." Elsa crossed something out, pen making sweeping strokes on the paper.

"Well, how does identifying as aro ace make you feel?" Jack asked, putting on his ‘serious supportive friend’ face, sitting up on the bed. Contrary to popular belief, he could be serious in the right situations. "How did you feel before you found out about it?"

Elsa was quiet for several long moments. She stopped writing.

"When I learned about it for the first time, I felt…relieved." Elsa finally said, turning towards Jack before words just started tumbling out of her mouth. "For a long time I just thought that I was picky. Really picky. Mother would always say that I would find the one someday, and he would make me feel differently. But I’m not so sure about that now, especially knowing that there are others who understand. I’d never felt emotionally or physically attracted to anyone before and that didn’t bother me to the point where I would get really upset about it - I’d never had a romantic relationship before, so maybe I would get proven wrong if I waited for one - but at the same time the thought of being in one just didn’t appeal to me, so I never really tried. And then everyone I’ve ever known seems to want things that I just don’t, and occasionally my mind would wander back to this topic and I would feel like there must have been something off with me somehow.”

Jack blinked, jaw a little loose. Elsa looked a bit surprised herself. Jack knew that Elsa was very private, and that she didn’t share things about herself very easily. He actually felt humbled that she trusted him enough to open up like that.

"There’s nothing ‘off’ with feeling that way, Elsa. It’s just uncommon. But it’s not unnatural." Jack said sincerely.

"Yes, I know that now." Elsa smiled and turned back to her desk. "I’d just never thought too much about it before I found out it existed, so I almost thought it was too…presumptuous, I guess, to call myself asexual or aromantic. But I think that the aro ace label does makes me feel more comfortable about myself. Something…clicked, when I first found out about it."

"Well, if identifying that way makes you feel better, then I don’t really see why you shouldn’t. I mean, if it validates you then it can only be a good thing, right? Besides, you can change it later if you feel you should. People are always discovering more things about themselves."Jack smiled. Elsa hummed in response, and a comfortable silence stretched on for a few more moments before Jack broke it. "How do you feel about romance, then?” He asked, genuinely curious, rolling over in his stomach, head resting on his folded arms as he looked at Elsa. She paused in her writing again, taking time to seriously mull over his question. It took a good minute for her to answer.

"Meh."

Jack stared. _Did you really just say that?_ Went unsaid.

"Yeah, that about sums up my feelings." Elsa said flippantly. She wrote a few more words before she held up a piece of notebook paper covered in flowing script, still not looking up from her book as she closed it and marked something off on her agenda. "Take this and start the essay. I’ve made a basic, preliminary outline."

Elsa suppressed a smirk as Jack gave a pained groan.

 

 

A couple of months later, Jack was feeling a different kind of pain.

"I feel like I got run over by a whale." Jack whimpered.

"Is this - sharpie ink?” Flynn gaped as looked at his right hand, which was indeed covered in toxic-smelling ink.

"S’all over your ass too." Jack supplied, and Flynn groaned, twisting around to look at the suspicious stains on his rear.

"Why did I agree to this?"

"Like I wanna know what goes on in that brain of yours." But Jack was too tired to put any real bite into the quip.

Merida’s parents were out for the weekend and she was supposed to be babysitting the terrible triplets, but her giant bloodhound, Angus, had suddenly gotten violently ill, and she had to rush him to the vet. She asked Jack and Flynn to cover for her, because, in her words, “only two people just as bad as these wee devils can possibly keep them under control.” One would think that the combined chaotic energy of Jack, Flynn, and the triplets would cause some sort of nuclear reaction, but it turns out that Jack and Flynn just canceled out the triplets.

It had actually been a good bonding experience. If Jack and Flynn ever got along outside of this setting, everyone would be doomed. Fortunately, they could only put their egos aside long enough to keep Merida’s brothers out of trouble. The triplets were currently docile and engrossed in Toy Story, giving the two exhausted teens a much-needs break.

"Why couldn’t Merida have gotten you and Hiccup? I’m sure he’d be happier putting up with you and the tyrants for a few hours." Flynn sighed as he flopped against the kitchen counter, where the two had taken refuge.

"Hiccup works at that craft store on weekends." Jack shrugged, staring blankly at nothing as he rested his cheek on the cool granite countertop, fighting the droopiness of his eyelids.

"How’re things going between you two, anyway?" Flynn asked, perching himself on the island. "I mean, how long have you guys been dating again?"

”What?!" Jack sat up so quickly that he got a little dizzy. "Hiccup and I aren’t dating." Flynn blinked.

"Oh. Are you sure?"

"Trust me, I would have known.” Jack would be very disappointed if it turned out that he was actually dating Hiccup without knowing about it. They could’ve been cuddling, like, all the time if that was the case!

"Well, I just thought - listen Frost, everyone who has seen you and Hiccup be around each other for more than ten minutes can see that you both want to smooch the fuck out of each other.” Jack blinked rapidly.

"Why has no one ever told me this?" Flynn rolled his eyes.

"I think that the girls are under the impression that you two should work it out for yourselves, but at this point, it’s just getting sad to watch." Flynn shook his head and Jack was about to retort when a resounding crash emanated from within the living room. The two teens looked at each other for a split second - that split second communicated something that only hours of shared pain could - before scrambling back into the danger zone to do some damage control.

It was only much, much later in the day, after Merida had come back to take the reigns and Jack had indulged in three naps and an entire box of girl scout cookies, when Flynn’s words really sank in.

Jack lay awake, staring at the ceiling as he pondered the implications. The best case scenario that he envisioned when he thought about confessing to Hiccup involved the other teen agreeing to try a relationship and later falling madly in love with him, but he hadn’t considered that the brunet already had feelings for him. That would make things a lot less complicated. And despite being a bit of a douchebag, Flynn was pretty good at reading hints when it came to romance - there was a reason he used to have such a playboy reputation.

He’d observe Hiccup’s behavior around him more closely and see if Flynn was right. His birthday was in a week. Maybe he’d invite Hiccup over to make cookies.

 

 

Jack hadn’t exactly planned to confess to Hiccup on his birthday - Hiccup was just there, sitting on his bed, and he said that he missed Jack’s face and - it had just happened. But considering the very enthusiastic way Hiccup was kissing him, Jack didn’t regret it one bit.

"I still can’t believe that you thought that Elsa and I had feelings for each other."

Jack and Hiccup were snuggled together on Jack’s bed, having already awkwardly made out and verbalized their feelings for each other. Best. Birthday. Ever. Winter break was just around the corner too; maybe Jack could find a way to spend it with Hiccup. As a couple. The thought still made him giddy.

"Shut up, Jack. I can’t believe you’ve had a thing for me since last year. I mean, when did that even happen?"

"Well, when did you realize you were madly in love with me?” Jack grinned. He began rubbing his thumb in nonsensical patterns on the brunet’s back. Hiccup shivered, but pursed his lips together. Jack had to up his cuddling game.

"C’mon, Hic, I’ll show you mine if you show me yours." He cooed, snuggling closer to the brunet, kissing his hair and nuzzling him like a kitten. It Jack had the vocal cords necessary, he would have purred. Hiccup groaned, hiding his burning face in Jack’s neck.

"Remember when I went back to Berk for winter break?"

"Are you saying that we could have been doing this,” Jack pointedly tightened his arms, “since January?” We’re going to have to make up for lost time.

"Yes. No. I don’t know." Hiccup sighed. "I mean, I wasn’t entirely sure. And when I got back I just stopped trying to think about it." Jack snorted.

"So you just decided to put it off, huh?" Just ignore your feelings echoed in Jack’s mind and he had to bite his lip to keep from laughing. “You know, I was smitten with you since I dragged you into that closet.” Hiccup tensed, lifting his head to stare at Jack.

"Wait, are you serious?!" Jack flushed, but he grinned happily.

"Yup." He cooed, pinching Hiccup’s cheek. "You were a real cutie back then. Still a cutie now, but your cheeks were fuller last year and baby-cheeks automatically add 20 points to the meter." Hiccup scowled and batted Jack’s hand away.

"Just wait, when I turn eighteen, I’m going to shoot up a foot and a half and then we’ll see who’s cute.”

"Oh, I don’t doubt that." Jack cupped Hiccup’s face in his hands, his bright grin softening into a gentle smile. "But you’ll always be my cutie, no matter how big and manly you get." Hiccup remained straight-faced, but his blush extended all the way to his ears and his gaze shifted away bashfully. Cutie-patootie.

"Dork." He bit his lip in an attempt to hide his smile. He failed.

"Your dork." Jack hummed, and proceeded to play a game of ‘how many kisses does it take to make Hiccup combust.’ Turns out they both reached their limit at thirty seven.


End file.
